This morning, we worshiped at The Refuge Church in Kannapolis, NC. This church is a booming congregation on the north side of the Charlotte metro area. The Refuge Church also has campuses in Salisbury and Greensboro, making it yet another multi-location North Carolina church of large scale that we have visited.
Each church has exactly one opportunity to make a first impression and The Refuge Church made a really nice one. The look of a church always has a great deal to do with that first impression. As is the case with so many large churches of the contemporary ilk, The Refuge Church looks from the outside like a relatively non-descript warehouse with a huge parking lot around it. The lobby, auditorium and the classrooms were very open and everything flowed really well, making us comfortable even as hundreds of people bustled to and fro in anticipation of the service.
When we entered the auditorium, we took note of the fact that it was dark. Very dark, as a matter of fact. The band was playing praise music at a significant decibel level. They performed Surrounded, Fight My Battles. This is a very special song to us, one of the first that we got into together when we were dating. They performed it really, really well. Many of the worshippers were moving to the music. There appears to be something about subdued lighting that lets people relax and open up a bit more. Perhaps it is a greater sense of anonymity or the reduced scrutiny.
It was quickly evident that The Refuge Church definitely has a good overall vibe.
Below is a video of the performance of Surrounded. As you can see, in addition to those dancing, there were definitely other people standing in relatively reserved postures.
After the music finished up, Pastor Jay Stewart came out and spoke to the crowd.
Pastor Jay and his wife Melanie run The Refuge Church together [link]. The first thing Pastor Jay did was speak to what has been happening with Disney, with charges of pedophilia among its employee base, as well as the company's decision to drop gendered pronouns from their public addresses. To learn more about this particular controversy of gendered pronouns, click here.
There was applause as he recommended that the members of The Refuge Church cancel their Disney+ subscriptions and boycott the theme parks. It was quickly established that The Refuge Church is a conservative church that is participating in the culture war that is going on in the US now.
Following that, Pastor Jay talked about a book that he co-authored. It is named Welded: Forming Racial Bonds That Last. Jay's co-author Derrick Hawkins heads up a church in Greensboro and the book has been a real success. Pastor Jay pointed out that they have been successful in getting the book approved for use in prisons across the Southeast, most recently in Florida.
You can see in the video below that Pastor Jay announced a solid list of states that have agreed to use the book in prisons for racial unity and spiritual restoration.
Really great stuff!
Pastor Jay then focused on the celebration of The Refuge Church's eighteenth anniversary. The videos that followed his words were made up of people giving their congratulations to The Refuge Church, many of whom were what one might call "Christian famous." Included in the videos were some leaders from Jesus Culture in California, for example.
Here's some of that:
After all of these accolades and acknowledgments, we got to the core of the service, an on-stage interview with singer Mike Weaver from the contemporary Christian band Big Daddy Weave [link]. Big Daddy Weave has been enjoying success since their inception in 1998.
The band's most famous song is named Redeemed.
Below is the music video for Redeemed, have a watch:
Mike Weaver came onto the stage and was interviewed by Pastor Jay in a segment entitled Processing Grief. This interview was part of the church's recent message series that touches on difficult subjects. In prior weeks, the messages covered topics such as Choosing Joy In Tragedy, Persevering Through Challenges and Making a Broken Marriage Whole.
Strong subject matter, for sure. Good for The Refuge Church.
If you are interested in watching the whole 45-minute interview, here it is (it's really powerful, my hope is that you might get something meaningful from it!):
During the interview, Mike Weaver gave a retrospective of what has happened in his life as a result of the loss of his family members, including his brother and fellow band member, Jay, who died a few months ago. Mike described how the painful loss of his brother followed on the heels of losing his father and mother in recent years.
Mike spoke fondly about his childhood and growing up in a faith-filled family near Pensacola in the panhandle of Florida. He recounted the events that led to the decline of each family member due to different illnesses, while at the same time seeing miraculous healings during the years that the band was on the road. Mike admits that he struggled with why he was seeing such profound healings of strangers while his own family members were in rapidly declining health.
One part of the interview that jumped out at us was a recollection about the day after Mike and Jay lost their father. He died on Christmas Eve and on Christmas morning, Jay Weaver said to Mike, "Jay, think about it... today Dad knows the color of Jesus's eyes!"
I also recall that Mike called his father "my hero" during the interview.
Not a dry eye in the place... at least not ours.
Such witnesses to a faith are deeply compelling. It made me think about a few things on a personal level...
First, it reiterated how different the Southeast can be in all things spiritual. As Mike described what it was like to grow up in the Deep South (Florida's panhandle definitely fits that description) during the 1980s, he was describing a culture that is candidly still mostly foreign to me and likely always will be... but after twenty-eight years in the South, it is much more familiar to me than it used to be and, to be honest, it's also very dear to me. I find the depth of belief of many people down here to be deeply inspiring.
Second, this interview made me think about the Christian theology of death, which should inform how we react when we encounter death itself. If we believe that we are saved by the Cross from spiritual death and Hell, then we can and should feel a sense of celebration when a Christian dies physically. But how often do we actually feel that sense of celebration? To be candid, many of us keep death at bay by not thinking about it.
Finally, the interview gave me pause about my relationship with death itself. Put simply, interacting with death has always been hard for me. I remember vividly the times that I saw my deceased grandparents' bodies when they passed away in the 1980s. Their funerals were the first and second times that I saw a dead body. It made quite an impression on me. I recall seeing my mother and her sisters crying over their parents' bodies. I remember leaving a handkerchief in my grandfather's coffin the last time I saw him, before they closed the lid. It's pretty wild to think that this handkerchief is still in the coffin with his body, in a mausoleum in Beaver, Pennsylvania.
I also witnessed the slow decline of my father over 2017 and 2018 as he moved into his death. I additionally experienced my brother's somewhat sudden death more than twenty years ago. Their deaths made a similarly profound impression on me.
My friend Dan, who recently became a father for the fourth time, mentioned to me a few weeks ago that he sees a deep paradox in American society. He pointed out that our society has many rituals and practices related to the birth of a child. Baby showers and christenings are examples of the things we do when a baby arrives. He made the point that we have far fewer cultural practices around acknowledging death. While death is as universal a phenomenon as birth (we all know that there's a one-to-one correlation), we may at times pretend that death is not there. If we have a shortcoming in our society, it could be that we lift up youth and youthfulness to the detriment of acknowledging aging and dying. It might even be fair to say that we may have a collective societal phobia on the subject of death.
He advocated that we need to develop a deeper cultural appreciation for that phenomenon that will take each and every one of us - our physical cessation, aka death.
My mind connected back to a sermon that I heard more than twenty years ago.
In it, the pastor read a snippet from a book written by an accomplished author and political commentator who lived in Washington, D.C.. In years past, this author was well-known for appearing on Sunday morning political talk shows. In her personal life, she was a functional atheist, if not a professing one.
One spring morning, this author was taking a solo stroll to grapple with the impending death of her husband from a terminal disease, During the walk, she was deeply grieved about the situation that her family faced. As she was walking, she noticed a church that was holding worship. Without thinking about it, she pivoted off the sidewalk and entered the church. She sat alone in the church's narthex and listened to entire service, despite not engaging with it directly.
She wrote about the deep value that she saw in the church service, even as someone who did not believe in the tenets of the Christian faith. She said that she left the narthex with a deep appreciation for "a community that prepares its members for the reality of death." She noted that as she looked around the secular world, she saw no analogous practices that she could avail herself of as an atheist. In an increasingly secularized America, she was not given anywhere to take her dread and incipient grief over her husband's impending death.
I never forgot that sermon. I recall clearly even today the impact that it made on me.
Christian community is about many things, one of which is definitely our preparation for death.
Ok. Now, that is admittedly a great deal of personal thoughts from me... what about Beth?
She said that she felt this is a great church that is willing to be publicly engaged on difficult issues, both in their messages and their stances on cultural trends. She liked this. Additionally, she noted that the presentation layer of the church was excellent. Great setting, well-run campus, very solid music, and messages that were very impactful (to say the least).
She also liked that there was a theme of racial unity within the Body of Christ. This is an important theme as more and more brothers and sisters in Christ worship together in ways that our parents and grandparents wouldn't have thought imaginable.
This is high praise.
As Mike Weaver and Pastor Jay finished up their interview, it was clear that what was said had made a profound impact on the people at The Refuge Church. For us, it was also a great experience to learn more about the man behind the microphone of Big Daddy Weave, a band we have both known for a long time.
When the interview finished up, we were all dismissed.
The lobby quickly filled up as people from the first service prepared to leave and people started streaming in for the second service.
Beth's friend Macey goes to The Refuge Church, she was there with her sisters. She and Beth chatted for a bit in the lobby.
The Refuge Church made a great impression on us. This is a healthy and growing congregation that has some of the best attributes of a contemporary format combined with biblical, orthodox theology.
Thanks to The Refuge Church for a great visit!
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